Best of the Week
Most Popular
1. TESLA! Cathy Wood ARK Funds Bubble BURSTS! - 12th May 21
2.Stock Market Entering Early Summer Correction Trend Forecast - 10th May 21
3.GOLD GDX, HUI Stocks - Will Paradise Turn into a Dystopia? - 11th May 21
4.Crypto Bubble Bursts! Nicehash Suspends Coinbase Withdrawals, Bitcoin, Ethereum Bear Market Begins - 16th May 21
5.Crypto Bubble BURSTS! BTC, ETH, XRP CRASH! NiceHash Seizes Funds on Account Halting ALL Withdrawals! - 19th May 21
6.Cathy Wood Ark Invest Funds Bubble BURSTS! ARKK, ARKG, Tesla Entering Severe Bear Market - 13th May 21
7.Stock Market - Should You Be In Cash Right Now? - 17th May 21
8.Gold to Benefit from Mounting US Debt Pile - 14th May 21
9.Coronavius Covid-19 in Italy in August 2019! - 13th May 21
10.How to Invest in HIGH RISK Tech Stocks for 2021 and Beyond - Part 2 of 2 - 18th May 21
Last 7 days
RAMPANT MONEY PRINTING INFLATION BIG PICTURE! - 16th Jun 21
The Federal Reserve and Inflation - 16th Jun 21
Inflation Soars 5%! Will Gold Skyrocket? - 16th Jun 21
Stock Market Sentiment Speaks: Inflation Is For Fools - 16th Jun 21
Four News Events That Could Drive Gold Bullion Demand - 16th Jun 21
5 ways that crypto is changing the face of online casinos - 16th Jun 21
Transitory Inflation Debate - 15th Jun 21
USDX: The Cleanest Shirt Among the Dirty Laundry - 15th Jun 21
Inflation and Stock Market SPX Record Highs. PPI, FOMC Meeting in Focus - 15th Jun 21
Stock Market SPX 4310 Right Around the Corner! - 15th Jun 21
AI Stocks Strength vs Weakness - Why Selling Google or Facebook is a Big Mistake! - 14th Jun 21
The Bitcoin Crime Wave Hits - 14th Jun 21
Gold Time for Consolidation and Lower Volatility - 14th Jun 21
More Banks & Investors Are NOT Believing Fed Propaganda - 14th Jun 21
Market Inflation Bets – Squaring or Not - 14th Jun 21
Is Gold Really an Inflation Hedge? - 14th Jun 21
The FED Holds the Market. How Long Will It Last? - 14th Jun 21
Coinbase vs Binance for Bitcoin, Ethereum Crypto Trading & Investing During Bear Market 2021 - 11th Jun 21
Gold Price $4000 – Insurance, A Hedge, An Investment - 11th Jun 21
What Drives Gold Prices? (Don't Say "the Fed!") - 11th Jun 21
Why You Need to Buy and Hold Gold Now - 11th Jun 21
Big Pharma Is Back! Biotech Skyrockets On Biogen’s New Alzheimer Drug Approval - 11th Jun 21
Top 5 AI Tech Stocks Trend Analysis, Buying Levels, Ratings and Valuations - 10th Jun 21
Gold’s Inflation Utility - 10th Jun 21
The Fuel Of The Future That’s 9 Times More Efficient Than Lithium - 10th Jun 21
Challenges facing the law industry in 2021 - 10th Jun 21
SELL USDT Tether Before Ponzi Scheme Implodes Triggering 90% Bitcoin CRASH in Cryptos Lehman Bros - 9th Jun 21
Stock Market Sentiment Speaks: Prepare For Volatility - 9th Jun 21
Gold Mining Stocks: Which Door Will Investors Choose? - 9th Jun 21
Fed ‘Taper’ Talk Is Back: Will a Tantrum Follow? - 9th Jun 21
Scientists Discover New Renewable Fuel 3 Times More Powerful Than Gasoline - 9th Jun 21
How do I Choose an Online Trading Broker? - 9th Jun 21
Fed’s Tools are Broken - 8th Jun 21
Stock Market Approaching an Intermediate peak! - 8th Jun 21
Could This Household Chemical Become The Superfuel Of The Future? - 8th Jun 21
The Return of Inflation. Can Gold Withstand the Dark Side? - 7th Jun 21
Why "Trouble is Brewing" for the U.S. Housing Market - 7th Jun 21
Stock Market Volatility Crash Course (VIX vs VVIX) – Learn How to Profit From Volatility - 7th Jun 21
Computer Vision Is Like Investing in the Internet in the ‘90s - 7th Jun 21
MAPLINS - Sheffield Down Memory Lane, Before the Shop Closed its Doors for the Last Time - 7th Jun 21
Wire Brush vs Block Paving Driveway Weeds - How Much Work, Nest Way to Kill Weeds? - 7th Jun 21
When Markets Get Scared and Reverse - 7th Jun 21
Is A New Superfuel About To Take Over Energy Markets? - 7th Jun 21
Why Tether USDT, Stable Scam Coins Could COLLAPSE the Crypto Markets - Black Swan 2021 - 6th Jun 21
Stock Market: 4 Tips for Investing in Gold - 6th Jun 21
Apple (AAPL) Summer Correction Stock Trend Analysis - 5th Jun 21
Stock Market Sentiment Speaks: I 'Believe' We Rally Into A June Swoon - 5th Jun 21
Stock Market Russell 2000 After Reaching A Trend Channel High Flags Out - 5th Jun 21
Money Is Cheap, Own Gold - 5th Jun 21
Bitcoin and Ravencoin Cryptos CRASH Bear Market Buying Levels Price Targets - 4th Jun 21

Market Oracle FREE Newsletter

How to Protect your Wealth by Investing in AI Tech Stocks

Swine Flu Pandemic, the Solution to Global Warming?

Politics / Global Pandemic May 02, 2009 - 02:02 AM GMT

By: LewRockwell

Politics

Best Financial Markets Analysis ArticleTom Chartier writes:

Bart: "Dad, am I going to die?"
Homer: "Yes you are son!!!"


Is it just me or is it hot outside? I swear I haven’t seen a penguin in these parts since… forever. But then, I live in the Northern Hemisphere. Okay, well I haven’t seen a puffin in these parts either! Oh yeah… I almost forgot. I live in the tropics and it’s always hot here. We don’t have puffins anyway. Nevertheless, things are warming up all over.

You may not actually notice any Global Warming since the rate is incrementally minute over a long period of time. Only scientists with carefully measured data and Al Gore can see it. As such, not everybody is convinced. Some folks consider Global Warming to be a hoax, a scam or the latest scare tactic. Even members of the scientific community can’t agree.

Is Global Warming real? Is it just part of nature’s cycles? Is it a man-made catastrophe the result of all the gunk we dump into the air? Or is it just a lot of hot air?

I don’t know and choose not to enter the debate. I get enough heat from happy readers who want to exterminate me to go courting more trouble. However, it’s probably best to hedge one’s bet on the "made-made" side in the offhand chance Global Warming is our fault and can be fixed. I for one would prefer to stave off the rise of the Mantis People and Roach Republic for a few extra million years if possible. Apologies to all you entomologists.

Assuming that all our cars, industries and blowhard "elected officials" are to blame for what may be an early extinction of humanity what do we do?

That’s a simple question to answer. We need to cut down on the number of cars, smog-belching factories and long-winded diatribes. Unfortunately that’s easier said than done. We could adjourn all sessions of Congress permanently. But that’s just not going to be enough, despite the immediately apparent improvement of air quality over Washington DC. All those gas-guzzlers, gas-misers and coal burning gristmills need to be reined in.

Hm… I’m not sure anybody is going to have any luck in plugging up the exhaust pipes of Big Money and "progress." In this wacky dysfunctional system of ours, where there’s a buck to be made all morality is all too often tossed out on the landfill or burned at the dump… as we have seen recently.

Well… who can blame the greedy bastards for cranking out five-ton Family Truckster SUVs? They get ten miles per gallon and have been all the rage with busy Moms so they can drive Scooter to his soccer game. As W.C. Fields said: "It’s morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money."

The problem is we have too many suckers. In other words, the Earth is over populated with humanity. Think of it like that aquarium packed with guppies, mollies and platies breeding without any checks and balances from some good predators… like Piranha. Those of you who have been through this heartbreaking scenario know all too well, one day you get up and the tank has crashed. Everybody is belly up and it stinks worse than the latest economic recovery initiative.

Okay master, I have a cunning plan. Are you ready? No need to panic. It’s called Swine Flu! Yes, folks gather ’round as I explain the new miracle cure for Global Warming! Let Mother Nature fix herself. Cull the herd! Reduce the surplus population! Embrace the coming pandemic of epic proportions! Bring out your dead!

You ask: How can I help use Swine Flu to cleanse the Earth and put an end to Global Warming? After all, you do want to secure good times for future generations. How can the overworked mom or the dutiful breadwinner dad contribute to the cause?

I understand the eager desire to help out and the confusion. No need for alarm. With a few simple steps you too can become another Typhoid Mary or in this case a Swine Flu Bobby.

First, never, never wash your hands! That’s one of the big no-nos. Filthy hygiene does wonders in spreading plagues and that’s the goal. Also avoid wearing those silly blue or white surgical masks. How can you spread or contract a good deadly virus while wearing a surgical mask? You don’t see Ebola victims in Africa wearing them do you? Heck no!

Next, you’re feeling a bit woozy. The sniffles have turned into a painful cough coupled with a mild fever of 103 F. Your doctor has advised you to rest in bed, drink plenty of fluids and take Tylenol. Hogwash! Now’s the time you can really do some good in spreading Swine Flu! You are infected! You lucky stiff.

It’s time to get out and about. Go to work. Shake hands with all the people you meet. Smile and be boisterous, you are a carrier. As such, the time is right to book a flight to Orlando, Florida and visit Disney World. It’s hard to beat a long flight for spreading around a good viral infection. Once you’ve seen all there is to see, done all there is to do and passed out in a state of delirium on all the attractions at Disney World, how about spreading the love with a Caribbean Cruise? Visit all the islands you can. Trust me, islanders are sitting ducks for viruses like Swine Flu. I should know. And besides, you may never get another chance to visit anywhere once the Grim Reaper comes knocking on your door and you do want to go happy, right?

In all likelihood, Swine Flu will be about as deadly as any number of annual flu viruses that sweep around the world several times a year. A few people always die but most of us simply get sick and feel like something the cat refused to eat for a week or two. All the hoopla may just be more fear mongering or another devious scheme to sell more drugs. But I prefer to be optimistic. Swine Flu could be Thomas Malthus’ dream come true and solve all our problems, unemployment, starvation, economic turmoil, Osama bin Laden, the Heartbreak of Psoriasis and… Global Warming!

Tom Chartier [send him mail] played lead guitar in legendary Los Angeles punk band The Rotters for 26 years until their final appearance in January of 2004. He has lived in Tokyo and Los Angeles. Currently he resides somewhere in the Caribbean.

    http://www.lewrockwell.com

    © 2009 Copyright LewRockwell.com - All Rights Reserved
    Disclaimer: The above is a matter of opinion provided for general information purposes only and is not intended as investment advice. Information and analysis above are derived from sources and utilising methods believed to be reliable, but we cannot accept responsibility for any losses you may incur as a result of this analysis. Individuals should consult with their personal financial advisors.


© 2005-2019 http://www.MarketOracle.co.uk - The Market Oracle is a FREE Daily Financial Markets Analysis & Forecasting online publication.


Post Comment

Only logged in users are allowed to post comments. Register/ Log in