Best of the Week
Most Popular
1. Investing in a Bubble Mania Stock Market Trending Towards Financial Crisis 2.0 CRASH! - 9th Sep 21
2.Tech Stocks Bubble Valuations 2000 vs 2021 - 25th Sep 21
3.Stock Market FOMO Going into Crash Season - 8th Oct 21
4.Stock Market FOMO Hits September Brick Wall - Evergrande China's Lehman's Moment - 22nd Sep 21
5.Crypto Bubble BURSTS! BTC, ETH, XRP CRASH! NiceHash Seizes Funds on Account Halting ALL Withdrawals! - 19th May 21
6.How to Protect Your Self From a Stock Market CRASH / Bear Market? - 14th Oct 21
7.AI Stocks Portfolio Buying and Selling Levels Going Into Market Correction - 11th Oct 21
8.Why Silver Price Could Crash by 20%! - 5th Oct 21
9.Powell: Inflation Might Not Be Transitory, After All - 3rd Oct 21
10.Global Stock Markets Topped 60 Days Before the US Stocks Peaked - 23rd Sep 21
Last 7 days
Stock Market January PANIC AI Tech Stocks Buying Opp - Trend Forecast 2022 - 21st Jan 21
How to Get Rich in the MetaVerse - 20th Jan 21
Should you Buy Payment Disruptor Stocks in 2022? - 20th Jan 21
2022 the Year of Smart devices, Electric Vehicles, and AI Startups - 20th Jan 21
Oil Markets More Animated by Geopolitics, Supply, and Demand - 20th Jan 21
WARNING - AI STOCK MARKET CRASH / BEAR SWITCH TRIGGERED! - 19th Jan 22
Fake It Till You Make It: Will Silver’s Motto Work on Gold? - 19th Jan 22
Crude Oil Smashing Stocks - 19th Jan 22
US Stagflation: The Global Risk of 2022 - 19th Jan 22
Stock Market Trend Forecast Early 2022 - Tech Growth Value Stocks Rotation - 18th Jan 22
Stock Market Sentiment Speaks: Are We Setting Up For A 'Mini-Crash'? - 18th Jan 22
Mobile Sports Betting is on a rise: Here’s why - 18th Jan 22
Exponential AI Stocks Mega-trend - 17th Jan 22
THE NEXT BITCOIN - 17th Jan 22
Gold Price Predictions for 2022 - 17th Jan 22
How Do Debt Relief Services Work To Reduce The Amount You Owe? - 17th Jan 22
RIVIAN IPO Illustrates We are in the Mother of all Stock Market Bubbles - 16th Jan 22
All Market Eyes on Copper - 16th Jan 22
The US Dollar Had a Slip-Up, but Gold Turned a Blind Eye to It - 16th Jan 22
A Stock Market Top for the Ages - 16th Jan 22
FREETRADE - Stock Investing Platform, the Good, Bad and Ugly Review, Free Shares, Cancelled Orders - 15th Jan 22
WD 14tb My Book External Drive Unboxing, Testing and Benchmark Performance Amazon Buy Review - 15th Jan 22
Toyland Ferris Wheel Birthday Fun at Gulliver's Rother Valley UK Theme Park 2022 - 15th Jan 22
What You Should Know About a TailoredPay High Risk Merchant Account - 15th Jan 22
Best Metaverse Tech Stocks Investing for 2022 and Beyond - 14th Jan 22
Gold Price Lagging Inflation - 14th Jan 22
Get Your Startup Idea Up And Running With These 7 Tips - 14th Jan 22
What Happens When Your Flight Gets Cancelled in the UK? - 14th Jan 22
How to Profit from 2022’s Biggest Trend Reversal - 11th Jan 22
Stock Market Sentiment Speaks: Are We Ready To Drop To 4400SPX? - 11th Jan 22
What's the Role of an Affiliate Marketer? - 11th Jan 22
Essential Things To Know Before You Set Up A Limited Liability Company - 11th Jan 22
NVIDIA THE KING OF THE METAVERSE! - 10th Jan 22
Fiscal and Monetary Cliffs Have Arrived - 10th Jan 22
The Meteoric Rise of Investing in Trading Cards - 10th Jan 22
IBM The REAL Quantum Metaverse STOCK! - 9th Jan 22
WARNING Failing NVME2 M2 SSD Drives Can Prevent Systems From Booting - Corsair MP600 - 9th Jan 22
The Fed’s inflated cake and a ‘quant’ of history - 9th Jan 22
NVME M2 SSD FAILURE WARNING Signs - Corsair MP600 1tb Drive - 9th Jan 22
Meadowhall Sheffield Christmas Lights 2021 Shopping - Before the Switch on - 9th Jan 22
How Does Insurance Work In Europe? Find Out Here - 9th Jan 22
MATTERPORT (MTTR) - DIGITIZING THE REAL WORLD - METAVERSE INVESTING 2022 - 7th Jan 22
Effect of Deflation On The Gold Price - 7th Jan 22
Stock Market 2022 Requires Different Strategies For Traders/Investors - 7th Jan 22
Old Man Winter Will Stimulate Natural Gas and Heating Oil Demand - 7th Jan 22
Is The Lazy Stock Market Bull Strategy Worth Considering? - 7th Jan 22
METAVERSE - NEW LIFE FOR SONY AGEING GAMING GIANT? - 6th Jan 2022
What Elliott Waves Show for Asia Pacific Stock and Financial Markets 2022 - 6th Jan 2022
Why You Should Register Your Company - 6th Jan 2022
4 Ways to Invest in Silver for 2022 - 6th Jan 2022
UNITY (U) - Metaverse Stock Analysis Investing for 2022 and Beyond - 5th Jan 2022
Stock Market Staving Off Risk-Off - 5th Jan 2022
Gold and Silver Still Hungover After New Year’s Eve - 5th Jan 2022
S&P 500 In an Uncharted Territory, But Is Sky the Limit? - 5th Jan 2022

Market Oracle FREE Newsletter

How to Protect your Wealth by Investing in AI Tech Stocks

If You and Your Spouse Argue About Money, You Have to Read This

Personal_Finance / Pensions & Retirement May 18, 2019 - 02:17 PM GMT

By: Jared_Dillian

Personal_Finance People fight about money all the time. It has been quantified. A third or more of all arguments in marriages are about money.

Usually this falls into one of two categories:

  • Spouse A thinks that Spouse B spends too much money.
  • Spouse A thinks that Spouse B doesn’t spend enough money (i.e., is a CF).

I advocate for married couples to keep their money separate. My wife and I have always kept our money separate—for 21+ years. And it works great for us.


Some people agreed with that, and lots of people didn’t, mostly on religious grounds.

This essay isn’t strictly a personal finance essay. It’s more of a relationship essay about how to work together towards a common goal because you are on the same team.

The irony is that people tend to work better as a team when they are two individuals, not Siamese twins.

Common Sense

I was reading some personal finance blogs recently and I came across something called “the 0.1% Rule.”

The idea is that neither partner has to get permission from the other partner for any expense under 0.1% of their combined net worth.

So if the couple has a $100,000 net worth, you don’t need permission for a $100 expense. If you had a $1,000,000 net worth, you wouldn’t need permission for a $1,000 expense. And so on.

The theory is that if you rack up enough large expenses it will eat into your retirement savings over time. So you should first check it out with your spouse.

I have another description for the 0.1% Rule: common sense.

For example, I recently bought $6,000 worth of DJ equipment. Even though we keep our money separate, I told my wife about it first, as a courtesy.

She was cool with it. It’s kind of a big expense, and it would have been weird if I kept that a secret from her. It wouldn’t have been a secret for very long, anyway, when all the boxes got delivered to the front door.

Even if you keep your money separate, don’t go out and buy a new car on a whim. That’s not good for the marriage. Again, it’s common sense.

Keeping Each Other in the Loop

I also don’t much like the idea of getting “permission” from the spouse to make a purchase. That bothers the hell out of me.

My wife doesn’t own me, and I don’t own my wife. My wife doesn’t need my permission to go out and have drinks with the girls. I don’t need permission to fly to Vegas with my brother.

As a courtesy, we’ll keep each other in the loop—but that is the extent of it.

Apparently, there is a new term in the lexicon for not keeping your spouse in the loop. It is called “financial infidelity.”

This is when one partner goes out and makes a big purchase, or takes out a loan, or opens a separate account without the knowledge of the spouse. It is dishonest behavior.

Dishonesty about money can be just as bad as dishonesty in sexual relations. And it’s easier than ever to do, because there are no longer any paper statements being delivered to the house.

You’d want to keep your spouse in the loop on a big expense like you’d want to keep him/her in the loop about anything else.

If you are at the point in your relationship where you are sneaking around to buy stuff, this isn’t a money problem. It’s a relationship problem, and it’s bad.

It helps to marry someone who has the same attitudes towards money, but it’s not necessary. In my marriage, I’m the risk-taker who spends a bit and my wife is the cautious saver. We make it work because we communicate.

Sometimes I get my way, but not always. Sometimes she gets her way, but not always. If one person got their way all the time, it would no longer be fair. We’re a team. If it’s not fair, then there’s no team.

Don’t Argue About Small Stuff

Life is too short to fight about money. Especially trivial amounts of money.

If you are getting (or receiving) crap for making small purchases, it’s perhaps time to take a step back and evaluate the relationship. For two reasons:
  1. Your standard of living in retirement is not the product of millions of small decisions, it’s the product of one or two big decisions.
  1. You shouldn’t sweat the small stuff. Almost everything is small stuff.

The funny thing is that people will go to the mat on $20 purchases. But when it’s time to take out a high six-figure mortgage, groupthink takes over and the married couple walks into a giant spinning blade.

If you’re going to argue about something, argue about the thing that could blow you sky-high, not the bottle of wine you picked up from the grocery store.

I watched a lot of people tomahawk themselves financially in 2006. And it was usually because one partner fell in love with the “dream home” and the other partner just couldn’t say no.

Most people can resolve most disagreements with sincere communication—unless one partner has severe pathological spending (or lack of spending) issues hard-wired from childhood trauma.

Those people are unlikely to change unless their behavior causes them a great deal of discomfort. If you are married to a person like this, and you love them, make do the best you can. These are not easy issues to deal with.

Figure out a system that works. Do more of what works and less of what doesn’t—not the other way around.

Free Report: 5 Key ETF Trading Strategies Every Investor Should Know About

From Jared Dillian, former head of ETF trading at Lehman Brothers and renowned contrarian analyst, comes this exclusive special report. If you’re invested in ETFs, or thinking about taking the plunge into the investment vehicle everyone’s talking about, then this report is a clever—and necessary—first step. Get it now.

By Jared Dillian

© 2019 Copyright Jared Dillian - All Rights Reserved
Disclaimer: The above is a matter of opinion provided for general information purposes only and is not intended as investment advice. Information and analysis above are derived from sources and utilising methods believed to be reliable, but we cannot accept responsibility for any losses you may incur as a result of this analysis. Individuals should consult with their personal financial advisors.


© 2005-2019 http://www.MarketOracle.co.uk - The Market Oracle is a FREE Daily Financial Markets Analysis & Forecasting online publication.


Post Comment

Only logged in users are allowed to post comments. Register/ Log in