Best of the Week
Most Popular
1. Investing in a Bubble Mania Stock Market Trending Towards Financial Crisis 2.0 CRASH! - 9th Sep 21
2.Tech Stocks Bubble Valuations 2000 vs 2021 - 25th Sep 21
3.Stock Market FOMO Going into Crash Season - 8th Oct 21
4.Stock Market FOMO Hits September Brick Wall - Evergrande China's Lehman's Moment - 22nd Sep 21
5.Crypto Bubble BURSTS! BTC, ETH, XRP CRASH! NiceHash Seizes Funds on Account Halting ALL Withdrawals! - 19th May 21
6.How to Protect Your Self From a Stock Market CRASH / Bear Market? - 14th Oct 21
7.AI Stocks Portfolio Buying and Selling Levels Going Into Market Correction - 11th Oct 21
8.Why Silver Price Could Crash by 20%! - 5th Oct 21
9.Powell: Inflation Might Not Be Transitory, After All - 3rd Oct 21
10.Global Stock Markets Topped 60 Days Before the US Stocks Peaked - 23rd Sep 21
Last 7 days
Chinese Tech Stocks CCP Paranoia, VIES - Variable Interest Entities - 19th Oct 21
Inflation Peaked Again, Right? - 19th Oct 21
Gold Stocks Bouncing Hard - 19th Oct 21
Stock Market New Intermediate Bottom Forming? - 19th Oct 21
Beware, Gold Bulls — That’s the Beginning of the End - 18th Oct 21
Gold Price Flag Suggests A Big Rally May Start Soon - 18th Oct 21
Inflation Or Deflation – End Result Is Still Depression - 18th Oct 21
A.I. Breakthrough Could Disrupt the $11 Trillion Medical Sector - 18th Oct 21
US Economy and Stock Market Addicted to Deficit Spending - 17th Oct 21
The Gold Price And Inflation - 17th Oct 21
Went Long the Crude Oil? Beware of the Headwinds Ahead… - 17th Oct 21
Watch These Next-gen Cloud Computing Stocks - 17th Oct 21
Overclockers UK Custom Built PC 1 YEAR Use Review Verdict - Does it Still Work? - 16th Oct 21
Altonville Mine Tours Maze at Alton Towers Scarefest 2021 - 16th Oct 21
How to Protect Your Self From a Stock Market CRASH / Bear Market? - 14th Oct 21
The Only way to Crush Inflation (not stocks) - 14th Oct 21
Why "Losses Are the Norm" in the Stock Market - 14th Oct 21
Sub Species Castle Maze at Alton Towers Scarefest 2021 - 14th Oct 21
Which Wallet is Best for Storing NFTs? - 14th Oct 21
Ailing UK Pound Has Global Effects - 14th Oct 21
How to Get 6 Years Life Out of Your Overclocked PC System, Optimum GPU, CPU and MB Performance - 13th Oct 21
The Demand Shock of 2022 - 12th Oct 21
4 Reasons Why NFTs Could Be The Future - 12th Oct 21
Crimex Silver: Murder Most Foul - 12th Oct 21
Bitcoin Rockets In Preparation For Liftoff To $100,000 - 12th Oct 21
INTEL Tech Stock to the MOON! INTC 2000 vs 2021 Market Bubble WARNING - 11th Oct 21
AI Stocks Portfolio Buying and Selling Levels Going Into Market Correction - 11th Oct 21
Stock Market Wall of Worry Meets NFPs - 11th Oct 21
Stock Market Intermediate Correction Continues - 11th Oct 21
China / US Stock Markets Divergence - 10th Oct 21
Can US Save Taiwan From China? Taiwan Strait Naval Battle - PLA vs 7th Fleet War Game Simulation - 10th Oct 21
Gold Price Outlook: The Inflation Chasm Between Europe and the US - 10th Oct 21
US Real Estate ETFs React To Rising Housing Market Mortgage Interest Rates - 10th Oct 21
US China War over Taiwan Simulation 2021, Invasion Forecast - Who Will Win? - 9th Oct 21
When Will the Fed Taper? - 9th Oct 21
Dancing with Ghouls and Ghosts at Alton Towers Scarefest 2021 - 9th Oct 21
Stock Market FOMO Going into Crash Season - 8th Oct 21
Scan Computers - Custom Build PC 6 Months Later, Reliability, Issues, Quality of Tech Support Review - 8th Oct 21
Gold and Silver: Your Financial Main Battle Tanks - 8th Oct 21
How to handle the “Twin Crises” Evergrande and Debt Ceiling Threatening Stocks - 8th Oct 21
Why a Peak in US Home Prices May Be Approaching - 8th Oct 21
Alton Towers Scarefest is BACK! Post Pandemic Frights Begin, What it's Like to Enter Scarefest 2021 - 8th Oct 21
AJ Bell vs II Interactive Investor - Which Platform is Best for Buying US FAANG Stocks UK Investing - 7th Oct 21
Gold: Evergrande Investors' Savior - 7th Oct 21
Here's What Really Sets Interest Rates (Not Central Banks) - 7th Oct 21

Market Oracle FREE Newsletter

How to Protect your Wealth by Investing in AI Tech Stocks

A Television Snow Job

Politics / Mainstream Media Jan 10, 2014 - 12:39 PM GMT

By: Walter_Brasch

Politics

With more than a foot of snow, sleet, and ice falling over much of the nation, the television news teams went into overdrive. This may be an accurate description of one of those minute-by-minute broadcasts.

“I’m Harry Hansom. Co-anchor Polly Prattle just called. Her car slid into a ditch about eight miles from the studio. Fortunately, she had her roller-blades, and is skating furiously to get here so she doesn’t lose a day’s pay. We begin our Team Weather Coverage with chief meteorologist Hugh Miditty.”


“Based upon detailed computer analysis and extensive satellite monitoring, available only through our exclusive Poplar Eye-Witless Weather Watch System, we can report that the high temperature this day was set way back in 2008. It was 50 degrees then. Wow! That’s real high. The low was set in 1994 when the temperatures plummeted to a minus 8. But with any luck, we’ll be able to break that low point today our tomorrow. The cause of this record-breaker is an upper level atmospheric low-pressure system that formed just east of Phoenix, traveled north to I-80, then cruised east where it hit dead-center with another low-pressure system coming north from Spring training in Florida. Or, maybe it began in New Jersey, and then ran a doughnut of isobars around Pennsylvania. As you know, a lot of bad things begin in Jersey. It’s also possible it began in Canada, because all bad weather begins in Canada. Anyhow, before the storm leaves our area to drop two feet of hail on Bermuda, we’ll have anywhere from five inches to three feet of snow and sleet. Or, maybe, we’ll just have a foot or so of acid rain that’ll burn the paint off every car in a hundred mile radius.”

“Thanks, Hugh, for a report that got real deep. We continue our extended and comprehensive team coverage of the snow emergency with Flake Sepulveda.”

“From high atop our All-News Roof, I can tell you there’s a heap of snow out here. Let me fight the bruising wind and go to the edge of the roof and take a closer look. It appears . . .”

“We’ve lost communication with the roof. Let’s check traffic with Barry Blades in HeliCam 2.”

“It’s real white out here. I can’t see the road, but it looks like I’m a little south of Manitoba, and up to my rear rotor in snow. I’m also running out of fuel. Back to you, Harry.”

“For a ground-level view, we go LIVE to Susie Sweetwater.”

“I’m standing in the middle of a large parking lot. It seems to go on forever. The drivers have kept their motors running, but for some reason they aren’t moving onto the interstates.”

“Susie, I believe you’re standing in the middle of I-80. Have you seen any snow plows yet?”

“No, but that white stuff is all around me. As you can see, only my Gucci snow hat is visible at the moment. If my dumb cameraman hadn’t broken his leg trying to get 100 pounds of equipment out of the all-weather WFAD News VW bug, we’d have even better pictures of nothing.”

“Thanks Susie. Now to Bob Covina, LIVE at the headquarters of that place where all the equipment is. Bob, we understand there are thousands of cars on the interstates, and crews are nowhere to be seen.”

“That’s right, Harry. It’s a matter of safety. It’s dangerous for the workers to be out in this kind of weather, especially when there’s all those cars, buses, and trucks they’d have to dodge on the interstates.”

“Do you have any idea when the workers might begin to clear the roads?”

“It’s past 8 p.m. now, so I guess when Management comes to work around 9 or 10 tomorrow we’ll have a better idea.”

“Thanks, Bob. Now to our social issues reporter, Gopher Galapagos. We understand there are a lot of homeless people affected by this harsh cold, Gus.”

“That’s right. There are homeless people. I think they’re cold.”

“Thanks, Gus, for that important story. We have a special satellite link to the command center of the county’s Emergency Management Agency, deep within the reinforced bunker of Mount Melmac. Ethel, you’ve been EMA director 20 years, what’s your county doing to provide emergency assistance?”

“Nothing yet, Harry. We weren’t told to do anything, so we haven’t done anything. But, we’re all here in the command center just waiting to answer telephones if anyone calls.”

“Thanks, Ethel, keep us posted on the fine work you’ve been doing. In a warm Washington, D.C., office is our senior political correspondent, Stan Sheboygan, with an exclusive interview.”

“Sen. Sludgepump, your reaction to freezing cold and heaps of snow?”

“Well, son, ah guesses this should put to rest all that lib’ral nonsense ‘bout global warming. Ah’d-a-rec’mend that Al Gore get some long underwear, and then return that tin prize he got a few years back for that nonsense he preached.”

“Tin prize? . . . Oh, you must mean the Nobel Prize.”

“Tin. Copper. Whatever. He oughtta return it ’cuz he was wrong! Not just a li’l bitsy wrong, but real lib’ral wrong!”

“That was Sen. Sludgepump with his usual fine political analysis. Back to the studio.”

“We have a breaking news bulletin. That’s right. A breaking news bulletin. It’s exclusive on WFAD. Only on our station can you get this exclusive! I’ve just been handed a message about our breaking news bulletin. All electricity—I repeat ALL electricity—is out in a 50 mile radius of our studio. But, you sit right there, and we at WFAD will continue to bring you the latest news and weather. Now, LIVE on Second Street is Kiki Vertigo who’s been interviewing residents about their response to the snow.”

“With me right now, EXCLUSIVELY on Second Street, is resident Homer Bigeloo who has a snow shovel. Homer, what are you doing?”

“I’m shoveling snow.”

“Have you been shoveling long?”

“I don’t like snow.”

“How long haven’t you liked snow?”

“A long time.”

“Thanks, Homer. I’m Kiki Vertigo, LIVE on Second Street. Back to you, Harry.”

“Another great interview, Kiki. Right after this message from Mendocino Frozen TV Dinners, we’ll be back with an abbreviated ‘World in 60 Seconds’ edition, and special 15-second reports about the nuclear war in the Middle East and the break-through discovery of a cure for cancer.”

[Dr. Brasch’s current book is Fracking Pennsylvania, which looks at the impact of fracking upon public health, worker safety, the environment, and agriculture. The book--available at local bookstores and amazon. com--also looks at the financial collusion between politicians and Big Energy.]

By Walter M Brasch PhD
http://www.walterbrasch.com

Copyright 2013 Walter M Brasch

Walter Brasch is a university journalism professor, syndicated columnist, and author of 17 books. His current books are America's Unpatriotic Acts , The Federal Response to Hurricane Katrina , and Sex and the Single Beer Can: Probing the Media and American Culture . All are available through amazon.com, bn.com, or other bookstores. You may contact Dr. Brasch at walterbrasch@gmail.com

Walter Brasch Archive

© 2005-2019 http://www.MarketOracle.co.uk - The Market Oracle is a FREE Daily Financial Markets Analysis & Forecasting online publication.


Post Comment

Only logged in users are allowed to post comments. Register/ Log in